Friday, October 15, 2010

the goldman sachs of baseball



The Yankees are going to win the World Series this year. Again. What's worse, they'll be playing the Phillies. Again. Wake me up when it's over. It's a nightmare for us Met fans. The two teams we hate the most playing for the whole burrito. Wouldn't it be great if they could both lose, or if the weather was so bad for such an extended period of time that it had to end in a draw? ...Nah. that's not the way the game works, alas. One of them has to be the victor, and I think the Yankees just have a knack for knowing how to win. I hate the term 'Yankee mystique,' but only because there's something to it, something that makes me wanna throw up. The Phillies are younger and their rotation is stronger, but the relentlessness of the Yankee offensive attack will eventually find a chink in Philadelphia's armour. Joe Blanton will hang a curveball to A-Roid at a pivotal moment, or Jimmy Rollins' hamstring issues will get the better of him at some point when the Phils absolutely need a double-play. I would love to be wrong, but I have that sinking feeling that the Yanks will find a way to get it done. Of course, both teams still have to make it through their respective Championship Series...


The Texas Rangers are the most likable of the four teams left in the playoffs. I would love to see them get hot, pull an upset over the Yankee behemoth, and then power their way past the Phillies in the World Series. They have a great group of guys. Vlad Guerrero, the former Angel, has discovered the fountain of youth. I've always loved his free wheeling approach at the plate. He'll swing at anything, and he can hit any type of pitch hard and a very long way. A few years ago, I saw him hit a walk off home run on a pitch that bounced in front of him, a la Yogi Berra. ...Ian Kinsler, who is Jewish, plays a very steady second base for the Rangers, and he has the kind of upper-cut swing that's exactly what you're not supposed to do when you make a pass at a ball, but somehow he always seems to be in the thick of things. ...Michael Young, their third baseman, is a great player to watch on both sides of the ball. And then you've got Josh Hamilton. Oy vey. He's a recovering alcoholic cum Born Again Christian Jesus freak, which automatically makes me hate him, but I grudgingly admire what a great ballplayer he is. He entered the playoffs with several cracked ribs and did not hit well in the ALDS against the Rays, but he's a five-tool player, and he's absolutely fearless. Even with the rib injury, he's running into walls and sliding head-first into second base... Another former Angel playing for the Rangers now is catcher Bengie Molina, a very shrewd midseason acquisition for Rangers GM Nolan Ryan. ...One other position player on the club that I really like for sentimental reasons is former Met Jeff Francoeur, aka 'Frenchy.' He was pretty terrible with the Mets, but a good guy in the clubhouse. He strikes out a lot, but he can jack the ball out of the yard. Usually there's one guy in the playoffs, an unsung hero who flies in under the radar and does something huge. It'd be great to see Frenchy come off the bench and hit a big home run or gun somebody out at the plate. He has arguably the best outfield arm in the game. ...The Ranger rotation is good but not great. The biggest weapon they have is lefty superstar and future Yankee Cliff Lee, who my compatriot Paul Lebowitz calls the Stone Cold Killer, which is just about right. He has uncanny command of all his pitches and almost never walks batters. If the series with the Yankees goes seven games with Lee pitching in Game 7, which would take place in Texas, the Yankees will be toast. He loves the big stage and is pitching not only for a championship but also for what will undoubtedly be the huge contract he'll command as a free agent when the season is over. Unfortunately for the Rangers, Lee had to pitch in Game five of the ALDS, so he will not be ready to go until Game 3 of the ALCS. The Game 1 starter for the Rangers will be CJ Wilson, who has what baseball people like to call 'electric stuff,' but he can be wild, and guys who are wild often wilt under the bright lights of playoff baseball. The serviceable Colby Lewis is slated to start Game 2...

If there's one thing that could derail the Yankees, it's their age. Guys like Mark Teixeira, Robinson Cano, and CC Sabathia are each in their prime, but Derek Jeter is getting old. He has lost a lot of range at shortstop, and he had a down year offensively. Still, he's Derek Jeter - Mr. Fucking Wonderful - and he has the experience and the know-how to rise to the occasion. A-Rod is still a huge threat, but we don't know if he'll be the hero he was in 2009, or the choking goat he's been in all previous playoff appearances. He's been hampered by a bad hip, which I think is the result of having juiced for so many years prior to PED testing, but you can never take the guy lightly, even at age 35. Jorge Posada can still hit, but he's old and a defensive liability behind the dish. If the Rangers are to have any hope of winning, they'll need to get on base and exploit Posada's inability to throw runners out. Manager Joe Girardi may opt to use Posada as a DH and have Francisco Cervelli catch, but then the Yanks would not be able to use Lance Berkman as their DH, and, quite frankly, without even having the numbers in front of me, my gut tells me that I'd rather pitch to Posada than Berkman. ...In addition to Sabathia, the Yankee rotation will consist of Andy Petite, probably the greatest big-game pitcher of all time, Phil Hughes, and A.J Burnett. So it's a good balance of lefty, lefty, righty, righty. Hughes has had an excellent year but he's thrown more innings than in any other season up to now. Burnett has not been good this year, especially given his enormous contract, and the guy's a head case, but he still has one of the most devastating curve balls in the game and could rediscover his dominant stuff at any time, so don't rule him out. ...The Yankees have a better bullpen than the Rangers, with Kerry Wood setting up for Mariano Rivera and that ridiculous cut fastball that no one can hit. Rivera has lost about 4 or 5 mph in velocity over the last few years, but he's still as close to a sure thing as there is in baseball. It's cliche at this point, but Rivera turns baseball into an eight-inning game when the opposition is trailing. The Ranger closer, Neftali Feliz, is quite good but can get rattled easily. ...I'll be rooting hard for the Rangers, but look for the Yankees to put them to sleep in five games.

The NLCS will pit the Phils against the Giants. I hate most things from San Francisco, notwithstanding my love of the Grateful Dead and the Jefferson Airplane, but I'm pulling for the Giants. Unfortunately, I just don't think they have enough to get it done. They have no offense to speak of other than catcher and probable NL Rookie of the Year, Buster Posey. Their strength is in their pitching, with righty Tim Lincecum, lefty Jonathan Sanchez, and righty Matt Cain. Sanchez and Cain would easily be aces on any number of other teams, but Lincecum is off the charts. I love the tork he generates with his stick-figure body. It's almost painful to watch his delivery, and I can't imagine what it's like to have to stand in against him. I'd love to do a few bong rips with the guy, though. ...The Giants have great pitching, but the Phils have great pitching and a very good offensive attack, with Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Jimmy Rollins, Shane Victorino, Raul Ibanez, and the mercurial Jayson Werth. What will kill the Giants, I think, is that the Phillies' rotation is every bit as dominant, featuring Doc Halladay, he of the Church of Latter-Day Saints, Roy Oswalt, and Cole Hammels, plus Joe Blanton, who’s ok if a fourth starter becomes necessary. All of these guys are innings eaters, and with closer Brad Lidge regaining most of his 2008 form, I just don’t see the Giants getting it done. All the games will be close and low scoring in the NLCS, which I love, but I think the Phillies will close this one out in four or five games.


It's way too early to start talking about the World Series, but I'm as certain as I can be that it'll be the Yankees and Phillies, with the Yanks winning it in six games. A lot can and will happen between now and then, so my predictions are fluid, but I'm reminded of Joe E. Lewis' famous quip - I think he said it amidst the Yankee dynasty of the 1920s - that rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U.S. Steel. It's still true today, except that we should update things and say that rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for Goldman Sachs. Both corporations, the Yankees and GS, maximize their massive financial might in their respective fields of endeavor. Each is a perfect symbol of greed American style and and the obscene concentration of wealth that's allowed to take place in USA, Inc. They also both happen to be very, very good at what they do, especially when it counts most. Their victory is our defeat. The beat goes on...


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