Sunday, June 5, 2011

my power pop addiction, no. 46 (118)

OK, so now I've had some time to absorb everything that's happened with respect to this high school reunion. What a trippy couple of days! It hasn't been all good, but most of it has, so I'm trying to focus on the positive things. One thing I've been pleasantly surprised by is that almost everyone I dealt with, even those with whom I wasn't close back in the day, seems so nice and accepting now. This may be the result of having been fairly well liquored up, so perhaps the good vibes were all a distortion, I don't know. As is to be expected, the big build up to the event now leaves me feeling a bit deflated with the whole thing passing by just as quickly as it arrived. I don't have kids to fall back on, so there's some lingering emptiness that's likely to be with me for a few days. I made overtures to lots of people - 'let's stay in touch this time,' 'call me when you're in LA', etc. - but I'm not sure any of it will pan out with the passage of time and a return to my normal routine back home. We'll see. It'd be nice to make a few extra friends and be a little more social than has been my MO as an adult. As far as the friends I've managed to stay in touch with over the years, everyone was really great and made me feel at home, even though I've worked so hard to extricate myself from NYC private school insularity. Doing so was absolutely the right thing for me to do, and I'm kind of glad I'm able to keep it all at an arm's distance, but it's nice to venture back into it now and again, especially since we're all grown ups now with real lives, and most, if not all, of the petty backbiting and jockeying for position is a thing of the past. All in all, this reunion thing was overwhelming in the emotions it conjured up for me. It's not something you can really prepare for. But I'm glad I did it. I feel as if I've exorcized some demons and inched that much closer to the guy I want to be...

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