skyrockets in flight

I enjoyed my drive yesterday out to San Berdoo. I took the 210 just past the city of Fontana - the junkyard of dreams

- and got out at Mount Waterman Drive, route 18. I turned left off the freeway and took the road up through the San Bernardino National Forest and into the town of Crestline at 5000 feet. Crestline is a bit of a hippie enclave, which took me by surprise. But it's not good hippie. It's NRA libertarian hippie, combining the requisite back-to-the-land orientation with a rednecky ski bum skankiness. The place has a strange, unsettling vibe. It reminds me of Box Canyon in Simi Valley. It's very pretty, but there's an uneasiness in the air. In any case, I had a chance to do some thinking once again. ...I have no spiritual life to speak of because I don't believe in that stuff (except when I'm on an airplane). I have no companionship. I feel increasingly remote from my friends as they're all married with kids, and I don't like the idea of being the weirdo uncle who's always by himself. I had an uncle like this when I was a kid. I believe he died of the AIDS. I also don't like what I see in modern parenting. Kids are so overindulged these days. I know my observations constitute a very small sample size and that the sentiment makes me sound like a bitter old man. Put it this way: I don't like what I've seen in terms of contemporary parenting. Kids expect so much of the world nowadays, and it starts with the parents. I didn't really want for much materially when I was growing up, but my parents definitely didn't give me everything I asked for. Parents these days give their kids everything they want. Everything. And it's not just the material things. It's emotional stuff, too. They get everything they want, and they come to expect that this will continue indefinitely into the future. What are they gonna be like when they grow up and the world kicks them in the teeth? Entitled kids make me feel tense. I haven't just cut myself off from people, though. I've also stopped following the news of the world because its scary out there and I get freaked out. I used to follow politics and economic news very carefully. No more. It's an era of perpetual crisis, and staying up to date with it makes me panicky. I put blinkers on to avoid getting swept up in anxiety. It reminds me of how I used to be so fearful of nuclear war when I was a kid. I refused to watch The Day After because I knew it would scare the shit out of me.

Sure enough, a lot of kids who watched it were pretty upset the next day in school... I guess if I have one overarching objective that defines what I do and how I live, it's the avoidance of anxiety, depression and conflict. It's not a real lofty road map for life, is it? It's pretty pathetic, to be honest. I remember not so long ago having a real desire and drive to do great, impactful things with my life. Nowadays I'm just happy to avoid a total meltdown. ...I ate a piece of homemade apple pie I bought from an old hippie lady selling cakes and cookies by the side of the road in Crestline. She didn't really want me to take her photo, for whatever reason. She was actually kind of pissy about it, which I thought was strange because I could have just snapped her photo without asking. Oh, well. The pie was quite good. The crust was light and flaky, not like those pre-made cement crusts you buy at the grocery store.

It would not surprise me at all if there's a lot of pot cultivation going on in Crestline. This

would explain the eerie feel of the place. Even though pot is becoming more and more accepted, the cultivation and marketing of the stuff still attracts an edgy element. I'm sure I could have stuck around and asked a few questions, maybe at the filling station or in the local diner, but I wanted to move on. I drove to Lake Gregory on the outskirts of Crestline and relaxed in a nice shady spot with my iPod. Afternoon Delight came on about five or six songs into a shuffle. When I was a little boy, I had a babysitter who sang Afternoon Delight with me once when it came on the radio. I remember thinking she was really cool because she sang the high harmony part. It's not easy getting up that high. Believe me, I've tried.